Pets, Babies and changing priorities

Aka How to blend the “fur-st”  kid with the first kid!

Let me take you back to when your  family first began... there were the two of you, and then you got your place that you called your own. Exciting times.

Your "fur-st" child in your first home with your only spouse.

You are both young, working, and miss your own family pet... the one whom you grew up with, or even better, the one you got as a young adult, but now you have to leave at home with your parents, as your pet now loves them a pinch more than they love you.


So, you and your beloved decide to get your “fur-st” child.   Your new puppy or kitten arrives, you are taking photos, long walks on the beach or the mountains... overall you now feel like you are a family.

And life is great!

But time passes, whatever clock ticks along, and, guess what,  a new baby is on the horizon. 

Life just gets better.... and different.... and busier, and priorities change. 

So how can you make your “fur-st “cope with the arrival of your “first” kid?

It really is a combination of your pet’s temperament, their training, their relationship with you, and their experiences in the past, that is going to play a big part, on how well the fur- kid adjusts to the first kid.

It all starts with the basics of a relationship with your pet that is based on trust, respect, tolerance and understanding.  Balance that with positive reinforcement training, and reasonable ground rules, then you have set your fur-kid up to success.



When you are looking at your "ground rules" think about your fur-child
with your first child.

So what do “reasonable ground rules” mean?   Well, it means, “start as you mean to continue”.  The rules apply whether your kids have two legs or four.  If you set reasonable rules on when it is meal time, play time, toilet time, walk time.... that is a schedule, as best as you can keep a schedule, then your pet will respect the times when it is just you-and-hubby-time, or you-and-you-time.

Positive reinforcement means what it means... you are just rewarding the behaviours that you would like to see repeated each and every time... which is really, basic manners..... please and thank you. 

These are important steps that each new pet owner must take (for any pet dog or cat) if they are anticipating that they are likely to have children in the next 15 years.  It is the least you can do for your first fur-kid.

·         Routine is important – they need to know that there will be set times for meals, play, toileting, exercise, training.  It doesn’t have to be down to the second, but it does have to be consistent in the context of the day.  

o   Example –  Mornings – quick walk around the block followed by at home 5 minute training

o   Lunch time – play with a frozen Kong treat.

o   Dinner time – 5 min basic training, 5 min new commands, rewarded with yummy dinner.

o   Rest

o   Recap day’s training  - 1 minute- then bed.

Are they allowed inside or not?   It is common for pets who would normally be allowed inside, to be suddenly evicted when bubs arrives.  How about dropping the sudden-ness bit, and just not allowing them inside at all, if that is your intention when the new one arrives?

I know they say that pets are unpredictable (they are), and you can’t trust them (this is true for most family members anyway).... but it is not fair to evict them from something that they were originally told was OK... all because a new tenant is in the building. 

If there is a relationship with your pet based on trust, respect, love.... then re-adjusting them to a different routine to what they have had previously, is understandable, and accepted by most pets. After all, they really just want to make us happy...pets, at an essential level, are not jealous, greedy, or self centred. 

As soon as you are aware you are expecting..

·         Look at your pet’s routine

·         Look at your expected baby routine (most first time mothers know in their brains what they expect the routine to be, as it usually until the third or fourth child, when you realise a set schedule is bordering on impossible...doable in fantasy land.)

·         How can you merge the two to help your pet cope

Now that you know what  the expected daily pet/baby routine is hoping to turn out like, let us look at the other things about babies which are unique, and that affect our pets.

And lets face it, for our pets, it is all about smell and sound.

How many times have you heard the story of the pet distraught at the sound of a baby’s cry.  Or seen video of pet’s sniffing a baby, with a bizarre look on its face, trying to figure out what this unusual object is in the house.

The next steps for helping your pet cope is to...

·         Stay calm when you hear babies crying.  Our pets are intuitive, and if we are anxious about the noise, then they will be to.  And, let’s face it,  as a mother of four, I know that our babies also sense our anxiety, and they are more likely to cry if we are anxious.   Learning how to stay calm is a good first lesson, for everyone. It is easy enough these days to download the sounds of babies crying... play it in the house and just watch how your pet reacts. 

The response you want is a pet who acts normal.

·          Invest in a fake baby doll.... wash its clothing, and then place that clothing in your own bed for a few nights.... dress the doll, and then , give it the attention that it would receive if were the real thing.   After a few days,  allow your pet to come near this doll, with you acting as if it was the real thing.  

You need to be aware, that each pet will view this doll differently... some will see it as real, some know it isn’t real, and some, don’t care either way.  The behaviour you want is curiosity, but a “ meh” attitude. But, if your pet is likely to attack a baby, wouldn’t you rather know with a plastic doll, than the real thing, with the baby doll, dressed in clothes you have washed, and placed with your clothes, so it smells like you.

Then play dolls every day... enjoy reliving your childhood...By the time the baby comes home, your pet smells them, and smells home!  And we all love home.

Need more information, or a helping hand?  Vets have children too, and we understand that priorities change.  Have a chat with your pet’s vet.

What vets do see, and what makes us all sad, is that when the first kid arrives,  the walks, the play sessions and any preventative care for the “fur-st kid” just is no longer the priority it used to be.  It doesn’t need to be so.  Let your vet join the extended family, and let us support you.

As vets have children too (I have 4 kids, and 6 fur kids), we do know how to combine the two to make everyone happy.  

Call your vet, and say “help”, and we will.