The words social, sociable and socialise have a specific dictionary meaning. But lets not waste time reading the dictionary for a definition of these words.
In the real world, they mean very very different things... these are contextual words.
"I am not a social person, but I am well socialised. I do not socialise, per se."
Take the above phrase. In this context, " a social person" is one who goes out with lots of people, has an active life, and overall, knows lots of people. Well, I am not a social person. I don't go out and party. It can also mean that if someone gets up close to me, I don't really want to talk to them.
"I am well socialised" and that is true. In this context, a well socialised person is one who allows each person to occupy their space. In other words, I respect that every person has a right to exist in this world, and I try to be tolerant of these other people. I may not always like or respect what they do, but this isn't about liking or respecting, its about tolerance and allowance.
"I do not socialise, per se", No, I don't like social events. My eldest daughter said to me the other day, that she has to rely on her friends to show her how to "do lunches", as I don't "do lunch" with friends.
So what if I looked at these words in the context of a dog. From a dog's perspective. What do social, sociable and socialise mean to them, especially as part of their daily lives.
Let's start with social. Everyone wants to take they dog to Doggie Daycare, and to the Dog Park, and let their dog's play with other dogs. Some dogs like this, and get alot of enjoyment of it. And many dogs, well, this is living hell. It is like attending a party you just don't want to go to, but being forced to by other well meaning people.
Dog's don't need to be social with each other. Dog's don't need to like every single dog out there. They don't need to be social or sociable to other dogs.
But they do need to be well socialised. Going to Doggie Daycare doesn't make them well socialised, but they do get to be sociable and social. A well socialised dog is one who allows another dog their space - looks at another animal and says "Well, you have a right to be there, I have a right to be here, we don't need to say hallo, but we don't need to fight either. " This is a well socialised dog.
It is not a dog that goes bouncing up to every other dog in the park or playground and says "Do you wanna play?" This is a social dog and a sociable dog, but really, this dog is mostly a pain in the proverbial. I really love happy dogs coming into the vet clinic, but this isn't about the vets, it is about a dog in the park. I once read an article that described the social sociable type of dog as actually rude. It likened this dog to someone coming up to when you are sitting in the park reading a book, sitting right up close to you, putting their arms around you, and talking to you like you are best mates. Whereas the well socialised one, is like the person who may sit on the park bench, but pull out their own book, and leave you well alone, unless a conversation is needed.
A social and sociable dog can be a well socialised dog, in that they know who to approach and who not to approach. Or they can be a total fruitcake, and get in your face (but unsocialised).
But, if your dog is not well socialised.... that is, if they don't respect the space of others, then you do have a problem that needs to be addressed.
When I look at the mad world around me, I realise that many human beings aren't well socialised either. And this is a shame, as it is only when we learn to allow each its own space, that the human race has a hope.
In the real world, they mean very very different things... these are contextual words.
"I am not a social person, but I am well socialised. I do not socialise, per se."
Take the above phrase. In this context, " a social person" is one who goes out with lots of people, has an active life, and overall, knows lots of people. Well, I am not a social person. I don't go out and party. It can also mean that if someone gets up close to me, I don't really want to talk to them.
"I am well socialised" and that is true. In this context, a well socialised person is one who allows each person to occupy their space. In other words, I respect that every person has a right to exist in this world, and I try to be tolerant of these other people. I may not always like or respect what they do, but this isn't about liking or respecting, its about tolerance and allowance.
"I do not socialise, per se", No, I don't like social events. My eldest daughter said to me the other day, that she has to rely on her friends to show her how to "do lunches", as I don't "do lunch" with friends.
So what if I looked at these words in the context of a dog. From a dog's perspective. What do social, sociable and socialise mean to them, especially as part of their daily lives.
Let's start with social. Everyone wants to take they dog to Doggie Daycare, and to the Dog Park, and let their dog's play with other dogs. Some dogs like this, and get alot of enjoyment of it. And many dogs, well, this is living hell. It is like attending a party you just don't want to go to, but being forced to by other well meaning people.
Dog's don't need to be social with each other. Dog's don't need to like every single dog out there. They don't need to be social or sociable to other dogs.
But they do need to be well socialised. Going to Doggie Daycare doesn't make them well socialised, but they do get to be sociable and social. A well socialised dog is one who allows another dog their space - looks at another animal and says "Well, you have a right to be there, I have a right to be here, we don't need to say hallo, but we don't need to fight either. " This is a well socialised dog.
It is not a dog that goes bouncing up to every other dog in the park or playground and says "Do you wanna play?" This is a social dog and a sociable dog, but really, this dog is mostly a pain in the proverbial. I really love happy dogs coming into the vet clinic, but this isn't about the vets, it is about a dog in the park. I once read an article that described the social sociable type of dog as actually rude. It likened this dog to someone coming up to when you are sitting in the park reading a book, sitting right up close to you, putting their arms around you, and talking to you like you are best mates. Whereas the well socialised one, is like the person who may sit on the park bench, but pull out their own book, and leave you well alone, unless a conversation is needed.
A social and sociable dog can be a well socialised dog, in that they know who to approach and who not to approach. Or they can be a total fruitcake, and get in your face (but unsocialised).
But, if your dog is not well socialised.... that is, if they don't respect the space of others, then you do have a problem that needs to be addressed.
When I look at the mad world around me, I realise that many human beings aren't well socialised either. And this is a shame, as it is only when we learn to allow each its own space, that the human race has a hope.
